Monday, January 3, 2011

The Expendables

C (4.2)

The Expendables. All your favourite action heroes from the 80s and today are here. Rocky, Commando, Die Hard, House of Flying Daggers, Lock Stock and Two Smoking Barrels. Everywhere join together to blow things up.

Well that's what the ads were trying to say.

Look when The Expendables was released I was really excited to see this movie. But I got side tracked with another movie called Scott Pilgrim vs The World and was also wanting to see that movie. I tricked everyone that I've seen The Expendables when I have actually seen Scott Pilgrim just because nobody heard of this movie and if they've had, they'll completely forget it. I've enjoyed it and got the movie on DVD. (The Expendables - 0 Scott Pilgrim - 2)

But here's what's going to sting your hair off. The Expendables is actually better than Scott Pilgrim. Scott Pilgrim is surreal and the title character is a bit of a bitch usually not spending time with his bandmates. The Expendables knows what to do, feels realistic and it's about boys being together just like the popular kids bonding at my school. Plus it's more successful when it comes to finance. (3-2)

Nah. I'm just messing with you. Scott Pilgrim is greater when it comes to the critics and how crazy it is. I finally watched THe Expendables as an in flight movie

The Expendables follow a group of mercenaries which includes the three leads: the leader Barney (Sylvester Stallone), Christmas (Jason Statham) and Yin Yang (Jet Li). Get it Yin Yang? So they've finished wiping out Somali pirates and rescuing hostages. Their last job is to wipe out a Latin American dictatorship so they get back to their personal lives.

The Expendables want us to believe that we are experiencing the great action films from the 80s and 90s. Well, that's what Stallone wants us to believe given how he's doing all of the work. He directs, written and stars in this movie. The Expendables is just that average. When I mean average, I mean Sylvester Stallone movie.

Obviously you get the action, the same villains out of his movies but the rest lacks any plot or logic. The rest of the dialogue is either cheesy or cliche.

THe acting is a mixed bag. Even if it is still ordinary, it's Stallone's best effort and Jason Statham is the most interesting character. However Jet Li does little to the film as he is given less screen time. The one character I thought wasn't interesting was Mickey Rourke given lines where he confessed how he would've saved this one girl on a mission but at least he does it well.

The action sequences are sickening and badly edited and I wondered why they would blow up a building when they finished wiping out the whole colony of troops. I honestly wondered whether these scenes have been too long and I think that the bad thing about The Expendables is that it had taken itself too seriously. Stallone tries to give us memories of the bad ass movie stars that were great in the 80s, but instead we are given a huge body counts and deafening explosions.

This has only one audience at one special event. Guys in a drunken nights out or teenagers hungry for action. And if you're part of that event, then this is for you. If it is for mindless entertainment, then leave your brains out and go.

Have you heard of the Dirty Dozen. This is the Stupid Seven.

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