Friday, May 6, 2011

The 2010 Theatre 3000 Awards

Welcome to the Theatre 3000 Awards. I want to respond to all of the vague, snobby and shitless award shows with these mothaf**kers (sic.). They're not the most prestigious awards by any means from an internet blog which has only 13 followers, but it's what I will say is that this represents the best movies of the past year and a half  in my opinion and to all the following people who hand out awards only for star power, because you're too lazy to vote or you don't give a shit about movies, this is what you should see. (People's Choice Awards, Golden Globes, Oscars and MTV Movie Awards)

Like the Razzies and you should know about them as well, this is satire to all the awards that host for crap, hand out crap, and use red carpets to distract us from crap. Most of the nominations are satire. Each category will have two winners

  • My vote
  • Your vote


So here are the nominees.

1st Most Overrated Film... by Audiences

  • The Twilight Saga: Eclipse (RT Audience: 74%)
  • Iron Man 2 (RT Audience: 80%)
  • True Grit (RT Audience: 86%)
  • Alice In Wonderland (RT Audience: 72%)
  • Harry Potter And The Deathly Hallows (RT Audience: 87%)
Most Overrated Film... by Critics
  • True Grit 
  • The Twilight Saga: Eclipse
  • Iron Man 2
  • The Kids Are All Right
  • The King's Speech
Best Film-Wrecking Moment (MTV Satire)
  • A character screws up pronouncing Aang - The Last Airbender
  • The ending in - The Tourist
  • The moment where a movie is announced it'll be shot in 3D - every movie made in 3D
  • The word 'Focker' in every line of dialogue - Little Fockers
  • When the whole movie turns into a fantasy flick about stalking - When In Rome
Worst nominations in an award show
  • The Twilight Saga: Eclipse - almost every nomination (People's Choice Awards, MTV Movie Awards)
  • The Tourist - Best Film: Musical Comedy, Best Actor: Musical or Comedy, Best Actress: Musical or Comedy (Golden Globes)
  • Burlesque -Best Film: Musical Comedy (Golden Globes)
Worst Snubs in an awards show
  • Christopher Nolan - Inception, Best Director (Academy Awards)
  • Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World - Best Film, Best Original Song, Best Original Score, Best Fight (MTV Movie Awards, Golden Globes, Academy Awards)
  • Andrew Garfield - The Social Network, Best Supporting Actor (Academy Awards)
Shyamalan-Bay Award for Worst Film
  • The Tourist
  • The Last Airbender
  • Grown Ups
  • Cop Out
  • Sex And The City 2
  • Vampires Suck
  • When In Rome
Most Underrated Film
  • Kick-Ass
  • Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World
  • Greenberg
  • Easy A
  • Animal Kingdom

Best Soundtrack

  • Black Swan - Clint Mansell
  • Inception - Hans Zimmer
  • Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World - Nigel Godrich, various artists
  • The Social Network - Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross
  • Tron: Legacy - Daft Punk 
Best Cinematography
  • 127 Hours
  • Black Swan
  • Inception
  • The Social Network
  • True Grit
Best Production Design/Art Direction
  • 127 Hours
  • Alice In Wonderland
  • Inception
  • The Social Network
  • Tron: Legacy
Best Editing
  • 127 Hours
  • Black Swan
  • Inception
  • Kick-Ass
  • The Social Network
Best Visual Effects
  • Inception
  • Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World
  • Tron: Legacy
Best Screenplay
  • 127 Hours - Simon Beaufoy
  • Inception - Christopher Nolan
  • Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World - Edgar Wright
  • Toy Story 3 - Michael Arndt
  • The Social Network - Aaron Sorkin
Hero of the Year
  • Christopher Nolan
  • James Franco
  • Roger Ebert
  • Aaron Sorkin
  • Natalie Portman
Villain of the Year
  • Jason Friedberg + Aaron Seltzer
  • Will Smith's kids
  • Harvey Weinstein
  • Miley Cyrus
  • M Night Shymalan
Best Scene-Stealer
  • Justin Timberlake - The Social Network
  • Hailee Steinfeld - True Grit
  • Chloe Moretz - Kick-Ass
  • Tom Hardy - Inception
  • Rock - 127 Hours
  • Kieran Culkin - Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World
  • Christian Bale - The Fighter
Most Breakthrough Performance
  • Hailee Stenfeld - True Grit
  • Chloe Moretz - Kick-Ass
  • Tom Hardy - Inception
  • Andrew Garfield - The Social Network
  • Greta Girwig - Greenberg
Best Supporting Actor
  • Geoffery Rush - The King's Speech
  • Andrew Garfield - The Social Network
  • Jeremy Renner - The Town
  • Rock - 127 Hours 
  • Christian Bale - The Fighter
Best Supporting Actress
  • Helena Bonham Carter - The King's Speech
  • Jacki Weaver - Animal Kingdom
  • Chloe Moretz - Kick-Ass
  • Mila Kunis - Black Swan
  • Marion Cottilard - Inception
Best Movie Moment
  • Mark Zuckerberg's comeback towards the Winklevosses - The Social Network
  • Natalie Portman and Mila Kunis makes out - Black Swan
  • Gravity Fight Scene - Inception
  • Scott Pilgrim vs. Deadly Evel Exes - Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World
  • The climax - Toy Story 3
  • James Franco cuts off his arm - 127 Hours
Best Actress 
  • Natalie Portman - Black Swan
  • Ellen Page - Inception
  • Jennifer Lawrence -Winter's Bone
  • Michelle Williams - Blue Valentine
Best Actor
  • Colin Firth - The King's Speech
  • James Franco - 127 Hours
  • Jesse Einseberg - The Social Network
  • Leonardo Dicaprio - Inception
  • Ryan Gosling - Blue Valentine
Stanley Kubrick Award for Best Director
  • Darren Arronofsky - Black Swan
  • Danny Boyle - 127 Hours
  • David Fincher - The Social Network
  • Christopher Nolan - Inception
  • Edgar Wright - Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World
Best Picture
  • 127 Hours
  • Animal Kingdom
  • Black Swan
  • Greenberg
  • Inception
  • The King's Speech
  • Kick-Ass
  • Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World
  • The Social Network
  • Toy Story 3
Please vote at the comments section below. The results will be handed out after the MTV Movie Awards

2 comments:

  1. 1. Twilight Saga
    2. The Kids are All Right
    3. 3D
    4. The Tourist Golden Globe
    5. Christopher Nolan
    6. The Last Airbender
    7. Kick-Ass
    8. Inception
    9. Inception
    10. The Social Network
    11. Inception
    12. Inception
    13. The Social Network
    14. Christopher Nolan
    15. Harvey Weinstein
    16. Tom Hardy
    17. Hailee Steinfeld
    18. Christian Bale
    19. Mila Kunis
    20. Gravity Fight Scene
    21. Natalie Portman
    22. Colin Firth
    23. David Fincher
    24. The Social Network

    ReplyDelete
  2. 1. Alice In Wonderland
    2. Iron Man 2
    3. The Tourist
    4. The Twilight Saga: Eclipse
    5. Christopher Nolan
    6. Grown Ups
    7. Greenberg
    8. Inception
    9. Inception
    10. Inception
    11. The Social Network
    12. Inception
    13. The Social Network
    14. Christopher Nolan
    15. Jason Friedberg+ Aaron Seltzer
    16. Hailee Steinfeld
    17. Andrew Garfield
    18. Andrew Garfield
    19. Chloe Mortez
    20. Mark Zuckerberg's Comeback at the Winklevoss'
    21. Natalie Portman
    22. Jesse Eisenberg
    23. Christopher Nolan
    24. Inception

    ReplyDelete