Battle: LA - I should thank Ebert for warning me.

D- (0.9)


Battle Los Angeles is a bad movie. Not just bad, but sickening to the stomach and to the ears. Battle LA is almost bad for almost every reason that can be made about a bad movie you see.

If there is any movie coming out and there is one movie you want to see to avoid the ridiculous trend of Twilight copycats, you'll find Battle LA on the list. Battle Los Angeles doesn't help at all and is almost the brain-slaughtering adult male equivalent to those copycats.

Battle LA currently stands down to as one of the "greatest films reviewed" by Roger Ebert who called this film stupid and it is.

There is no bit of a plot that you could comprehend, however from the trailer and the movie itself there is an outline: a meteor shower hits Los Angeles revealed as these aliens and a military unit led by a retiring seargeant (Aaron Eckhart) is sent to the area to bring them down.

I must admit that I had expectations for this film. And after spending two hours of gobble gobble, first-player shooter styled scenes and being emotionally manipulated of close ups to several cast members, I just watched the film for nothing.

Director Jonathon Liesbesman had came out with this idea and having to become "inspired" from other war and sci-fi movies to this film, he then said this is mostly original. Why does this director whose resume included The Texas Chainsaw Massacre and many other slasher flicks hired himself to make this piece of crap.

Liesbesman takes the hand-held camera to the most excruciating and sickening extreme. I usually don't care about how the camera usually moves in a movie, but while watching, I had to get out of the theatre three times because I thought I would be puking my head off. It's lazily edited (to be fair, there was no such thing as an editor in here) and every technical quality including sound, special effects, art direction and cinematography is lame. I mean there is nothing visually stimulating or redeeming about this film.

Performances from the cast are either uninspiring or unconvincing as many of the actors go running around like a scared-to-shit civillian. This includes Aaron Eckhart, who by all means, a good actor but what can he do with this kind of script that puts him into a stereotype that is overly used. I had seen one of the most sentimental acting from kids where their role is to scream and cry. Come on. It's just pure exploitation of these young ones.

The screenplay goes on around many cliches to cliches where a soldier commands his overused commands like 'Let's go' and 'get down' along with a dying soldier's last words. There's retiring seargeant, soldier with preganant fiance, wimpy soldier, and such stereotypes to be found.

Personally, I love science fiction. It's one my all time favourite movie genre and I really love to watch an alien invasion movie. I like it more as the average geek. But Battle backstabs the genre by doing two things.

1) It rips off so many alien invasion movies like Cloverfield, District 9, Independence Day, Children Of Men, Black Hawk Down and Saving Private Ryan (both of which are only war films).

2) As a science fiction flick and like almost every film, it should have at least one concept in its mind. This doesn't know what it is and when it is known, the film leaves it all behind.

As film fans, every film should know what's the genre intended, what it wants to be and most importantly how much deep imagination does it have.

Had the movie been in 3D as planned, this movie would have gave out my first F. Sony is planning a lawsuit against the makers of Skyline for ripping off their movie. Skyline may have been so bad, but it may add to that quote with "it's good".

This review serves a warning to 16 year olds who want to serve their cinematic appetite: Battle's junk food. And like all kinds of junk foods, they're unhealthy and rot your brain.

I almost want to walk out of this film very much. But I didn't. Battle Los Angeles is an awful film that absolutely made me felt cheated. It may be one of the countless contenders for worst movie of 2011.

DVD Release: The Social Network and Classic: Star Wars: Ep. IV

DVD Release: The Social Network (Collector's Edition)


Given how many exaggerations to this movie (compared with Citizen Kane, movie that defined our generation and such), the exaggerations seem to be true. This is a movie perceived as the movie about Facebook, but it's not. It's about the conflicted relationships of Facebook creator Mark Zuckerberg. The opening scene of his girlfriend dumping him led him to create the largest social gathering on the web.

More so, this is filled with revelating performances from the cast especially Jesse Einseberg who stunningly plays this cold, contrasting portrayal of Zuckerberg who shaped how we communicate with others. More so it's Andrew Garfield and Justin Timberlake who play stakeholders Eduardo Saverin and Napster inventor Sean Parker who goes along with Zuckerberg's idea that ultimately destroys their relationship.

However the star of the movie is David Fincher and Aaron Sorkin whose impeccable fair-filled direction and rapid-fire screenplay brings in the politics between these young men and into a character study of a genius who is yet angry of a girl who ditched him. The score by Trent Reznor is mesmerising as well. This IMPO by now should've won Best Picture at the Oscars.

A movie based on old storytelling devices of friendship, betrayal and ambition, by the time Zuckerberg has his ego bruised at the last half an hour he turns into a lonely tragic hero you'll realize that his 'Rosebud' was his girlfriend and in the final minute you're left breathless.

Extras: One disc contains seperate audio commentaries of David Fincher, Aaron Sorkin and the cast. Second disc contains the making of The Social Network, the soundtrack, editing and visual effects.

Film: 10.0/10


Extras: 7.5/10

Classic Film: Star Wars: Episode IV - A New Hope


To be completely honest, I have never seen one Star Wars movie until a few months ago where I went watching this along with Memento and 2001: A Space Oddysey. Star Wars begin with a title sequence that tells the plot of Luke Skywalker (Mark Hamill), a boy farmer working along Jawa traders comes along with two robots R2-D2 and C-3PO joining the Jedi with Han Solo and Obi-Wan Kenobi to defeat the Rebel Alliance led by Darth Vader.

This film shaped the science fiction genre. It created the blockbuster bringing an innovative look to Hollywood in the past. The special effects are spell-binding creating a totally epic look of the film despite the fact it was made for a mere $10 million. Performances are pure with Harrison Ford making him the actual hero over Luke while James Earl Jones brings in a filler to Darth Vader, one of the greatest movie villains of all time.

The Star Wars trilogy was an absolute visionary for George Lucas. It's a pity that the prequels were not on the level.

The Lizard with No Name

B (7.1)


So far 2011 hasn't been a great year for movies especially if it's filled with sequels, remakes that has no tint of originality. But Rango is what Hollywood has to offer and is the best so far.


Rango (voiced by Johnny Depp) is a lizard who used to live in a fish tank all by himself with a toy fish. Now he's wondering around in Mojave Desert with some guidance of a philosophical armadillo while being chased by a eagle. He then finds a lizard named Beans (Isla Fisher in a rather-phony Western accent) who brings him (actually Rango brought himself) to Dirt, a town which is currently stricken in drought. There once he meets up with the residents, he decided to make both literally and metaphorically a name for himself by fooling them into thinking he's a one-bullet-shooting cowboy.


Gore Verbinski of Pirates Of the Carribean fame is one of the few directors to have directed an animated piece when their resume use to state of directing live-action. Directors like Wes Anderson in Fantastic Mr. Fox and Richard Linklater for Walking Life and A Scanner Darkly. This is a movie that is unintendedly intended for movie lovers since Verbinski brings in many references, obviously Western, but film noir and surrealist art that you can easily spot. There are references to Clint Eastwood, Deadwood, Apocalypse Now and also The Three Amigos with the singing owls.


The setting, story and the character design that has to do with the animation is gritty. The voice casting is excellent especially Johnny Depp who does well as the timid Rango who has a sort of an identity crisis. There's also Ned Beatty who's voice is notable for playing Lotso from Toy Story 3 is brilliant as the Mayor who brings a homage to John Huston from the neo-noir Chinatown.


Even if it managed to be so surrealistic and connects moviegoers with their film knowledge, Rango does have some scenes in the middle that lacks any excitement or movement. 


This is an idea Pixar or Dreamworks would've grabbed. No. It belongs to Paramount. But Rango should get brownie points for standing out from recent animations not to be in 3D. It ain't the best Hollywood could bring for the woeful year, but Rango is a fun movie to enjoy.

Charlie Sheen Vs. The World

Over the past three weeks the world had been reading and watching the news of Charlie Sheen's manic behaviour. His dictonomous lifestyle had been circulating rumors that he would be voluntarily leaving the you-should-come-to-the-priest-once-you-seen-it show Two And A Half Men. The rumours were as close as it is. Instead, about half a week later, Warner Bros. decided to axe the show because of his behaviour.

Later, Sheen has his back hatchet running still. Simultaneously at the day where Natalie Portman won her Oscar and the Oscar hosts had backfired (there was a Sheen joke during the telecast), he starts up rants about the Two And A Half Men creator (also the maker of Big Bang Theory) Chuck Lorre calling him an 'earthworm', appeared in 60 Minutes-styled interviews, and just after that started his Twitter which he instantly gained more 2 million followers in the process in which he broke the world record for gaining more followers in the fastest time. At the same time as he got his Twitter and started a slap fight with American film critic Roger Ebert, the dude turned bizzarre as his ramblings turned into a philosophy. He managed to have his vocabulary more prominent with terms like "tiger blood" and "winning" (a literal term) into our cultural bibles. But this is where we get more annoyed by him. He starts off his own webcast along with a bunch of posers he claim to be his mates. Nobody watched that podcast because, repeat, we get more annoyed by him.

Charlie Sheen thinks he's above the world where his notorious lifestyle doesn't make him the only one gaining it. He's the Hollywood version of Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi who is currently charged of underage sex with a minor. Both are "public figures" who have a lot in common where their I-don't-care playboy lifestyle becomes more prominent by the minute. Berlusconi however doesn't do lines of coke nor drink 3 bottles every 24 hours. But he does bring in girls at their early 20s to social parties and into politics. And like Sheen brings out his own philosophical quotes

Throughout the week, I had used the words 'attention seeking whore' twice during the week and I may say it again to people who gets into our head for all the pointless reasons. Once for describing a teen sensation over his malignant political views and quoting 'rape happens for a reason' and given he's everywhere. now I can describe Sheen with those three words. He's a crude and hedonistic misogynist and the more he's exposed to the media, the more he's easily off the hook.

Sheen used to have some potential when he was 20th Century Charlie Sheen where he's the son and brother of veteran actors Martin Sheen and Emilio Estevez. He was appearing in movies like platoon or Wall Street with Michael Douglas. So far he had snorts 8148 lines of cocaine each month, earns less that a million dollars for each episode in Two And A Half Men, and slept with 5000 women. And so far if his father or the member of the Brat Pack is watching, they would have hanged their heads in shame.

In reference to the title, Charlie battle against the world watching him. Like Scott Pilgrim, he would have to face seven evil exes in his life, but when first heard of it, he would skim it. The dude would feel great as tiger blood would keep him winning. Kanye West had once said:

"Champaigne wishes, thirty white bitches, man that shit is fucking ridiculous"

IF Sheen was to be Oscar Wilde, then he will learn that he was wasted on the young.

Transformers: ROTF? This is rolling on the floor

D+ (1.8)


Before I get into the review, here's some interesting trivia about this film. When Transformers 2 was initially released, another movie released on the same week was The Hurt Locker. No kidding because both movies were completely different. One of them is bad, the other good. one won Worst Picture, but the other won Best Picture. And most importantly. One of them was a made by Hollywood, the other small yet independently produced.

Revenge Of The Fallen is taken from the third Star Wars movie Revenge Of The Sith. How would George Lucas react when he saw the movie and knew that the title was ripped off from everyone's 3rd favourite Stars Wars flick?

The first  Transformers was a pretty cheesy ride. I have to admit. I enjoyed the first movie. But what's most criticising about that movie is remember in the climax, it is kinda ridiculous that your home entertainment (an Xbox and your blender) would turn into a Deceptacon. I pretty much hated Shia's parents because they were as annoying as hell, but overall it is enjoyable however this repeats itself in the sequel. More ridiculous than ever

When I mentioned ROTF so much in my culture blog, I was merely confused on whether it was so bad the first time I have seen it. So I check it out again the second time. And the truth is... it was.

ROTF has little plot at all and given that the running time is 150 minutes, it's pretty hard to comprehend. But here's an outline: Sam Wickwicky (Shia Labeouf) goes straight to college where a second later the Autobots got him involved when they're still at war with the Decepticons. However they tell him that the Decepticons are bringing them with the Fallen which really hates humans. So basically they want to protect the human race.

The first act begins very silly with scenes of two dogs having sex together and I ask "Why?". Sam enters College and when there's a sorority girl that turns into a Terminator I ask the same question. The second act? Really stupid when you bring along Sam's dormmate and Agent Simmons in. That's where the human characters are reduced to secondary. By the end I was beginning to feel so angry because this movie was f**ked up and still audiences liked it. Those people were very young and this movie is kinda like junk food. You consume it it'll rot your brain.

This movie is a mess. The one thing director Michael Bay cares about are the robots. And it doesn't add anything for this movie. Apparently if you want to get closer with the action you can't. The scenes are badly edited, the cinematography is so terrible, probably one of the worst cinematography I've ever witness in a film and there are some confusions with the robots. Most of the Autobots are coloured, while the Deceptacons are grey. And when the Deceptcons are coloured for one moment I thought they were Autobots. Seriously I cannot tell which Deceptacon is Megatron and which is StarScream. However the biggest bullshit the robots faced is how they're treated. Obviously there is Mudflaps and Wheelie who speak in a rheotic African American dialect with a hip hop persona, but there were several decepticons that speak with a Sicilian accent. They're made to fart, one of them has two wrecking balls as their.... balls and a gremlin robot who is a perv.

This movie gets close into ripping off every movie you seen. This is one of the major problems with every one of Bay's movies. It rips off from Star Wars, The Matrix, 2001: A Space Oddysey to any sci-fi you loved.

Shia is made to scream his lines while Megan Fox.... I got to stop to give you some facts about Michael Bay and women. Bay should be well known for casting every hot actress there is (all of them posed for Esquire) in his films including Kate Beckinsale for Pearl Harbor, Scarlett Johansson for The Island and for the next Transformers (i.e. Dark Of The Moon) Rosie Huntington Whiteley who is a Victoria's Secret Angel. Bay doesn't do anything with his female characters leaving them to go around everywhere on the set. This is the same thing happening to Fox. No wonder she was replaced.

The parents are annoying as ever, Isabel Lucas completely has one facial expression and this had me literally going blind.

This movie marks the beginning of an era where the average moviegoer or the mass audience go to the movies where they've completely lost their minds on film. They completely forgotten science fiction movies before this were so great: The Matrix, Blade Runner, Close Encounter, Star Wars. Instead they are going to see this, Twilight, any movie that is completely mindless and is high on junk. Michael Bay started a phenomenon of Megan Fox, simultaneously he ruined the entire imagination of our pop culture. The younger audience would choose the dumbest over the smartest.

I won't say that this movie is bad to anyone who would have a conversation with me. It's just overrated.