Biggest Impact on Western Civilisation... for Better or Worst
Joss Whedon award for Fanbase of the year
Now in this Part, I am not going to do a Worst Director, Worst Actor category since it is pretty generic to do so. But once you scroll down, you'll know what are the worst movies to come out this year, given how it is a pretty mediocre year for film and comparing to the last few years it's pretty low.
Biggest Box-Office Drainer - The Lion King - 3D
Guys, you can either do two things: wait in ten years for the movie to come out with a new gimmick from Hollywood. Or you could just buy it on Blu-Ray so you can watch it forever. Gimmick or package guys. Please choose.
Super Bowl award for Crass Product Placement - The Smurfs
Most charmless character with a possible personality disorder - Alan (The Hangover Part II)
Worst Makeup - Villain with a giant Testicle for a head (Green Lantern)
Biggest Hack in Cinema - Adam Sandler
Most oversaturated trend in movies - Sequels and reboots.
Stupidest exploitation flick - Sucker Punch
Most pretentious Oscar bait - Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close
Saddest event of moviegoing - Audience ask for refund for The Artist because it was a silent film
And finally... you scrolled down this far for what you have wanted to see in the first place. My most detestable film of 2011 and to be fair, there were some movies that people thought were unfairly (or unfairly for that matter) blasted. But it doesn't matter. These movies were so boorish, bland, boring, blasphemous, whatever word about bullshit I could say, that it's inexplicitly indescribable. They are:
5. The Hangover Part II
4. Battle Los Angeles
3. Sucker Punch
2. The Smurfs
But the movie with the worst features mentioned above along with these categories is....
I didn't hate it because it's a gimmick movie (yet it is). I hate it for thinking that this is going to be any good. Director Garry Marshall and screenwriter Katherine Fugate believes that a certain moviegoer will go and pay $13 to watch well-known celebrities (in this case B-list stars) acting foolish at the time of end of year celebrations because of the end of year celebrations. It's string-thin patchy plotlines has to do something with New Year's Eve and yet I can't even give you an outline because they're all exactly the same. OK. Here are some of them:
- Ashton Kutcher and Lea Michele get trapped in an elevator. Kutcher is a cynic of New Year's Eve while Michele is a backup singer.
- Robert De Niro is a patient dying of terminal illness. He's on the verge to death, but would happy to watch the ball drop
- Michelle Pfteffer and Zac Efron try to solve all New Year's Resolutions since she lost her job and he is only getting them to attend a rave.
- Sarah Jessica Parker is the over protective mother of Abigail Breslin who refuse to let her go to NYE and meet her school crush
- Hilary Swanks tries to create the perfect New Year's Eve in New York. Ludacris watches on
- Jessica Biel is about to give birth, but on one condition. She would win the hospital's NYE's lottery. It's stops there
With these kind of plotlines structured as a poor man's Love Actually or a poorer man's Valentine's Day (which after seeing this movie, I have no interest in seeing what I've had mentioned) there's no way to take interest of these characters and you seriously can't wait for all to end cos you know how it end. They only appear for about five minutes and that's about it. But what really bothers me is how lazy this film is. All they could do is pay a celebrity about $500000 and give them a superficial perspective of what NYE means to them. When I hear that, I think about the people in Africa, the manic homeless guy who usually reside among the park bench and many orphans in an orphanage who would need that celebration to be comfort. These characters have way too much comfort. It's also the fact that this movie is filled with stupid caricatures, shitloads of product placement and the fact that when you set your film up on the famous spots of Manhattan, it's only because that's the one place you could actually think of.
Plus it also shows that Hollywood is running out of steam in terms of creativity and seeing how no one had made a movie about NYE, they take that too seriously and turn it more into a cash cow. Seriously who would act like that on December 31? All we do is basically get drunk and wait until 12:00 am to see the New Year arrive. And then we get a hangover. Oh and there's also a cameo featuring media midget Ryan Seacrest. It's a movie that features vapidness covered over vapid pop songs and vapid idiocy over layers of shit, that it gets my pick for the Worst Film of 2011.
PART IV... THE BEST MOVIES OF THE MOTHERFUCKING YEAR IS COMING SOON!!!