Thursday, June 16, 2011

Transformers: Dark Of The Moon Preview

Preview review - 16/6

Transformers: Dark of the Moon is the third and final instalment of the Transformers trilogy directed by Michael Bay. Now love it or hate it, you have to admit no matter how bad the reviews are for the previous films, they're makin' a shitload of money. These films grossed over $1 billion together at the box office and for me, I don't give a shit about these two films because a) Transformers has to be the most juvenile franchise I've ever seen and b) why should we care since the second film has to be the laziest, over-produced, racist sequel I've ever seen.

If you don't know the story, it's just the simple plot of transport and motor vehicles that can shape-shift into robot giants fighting each other over a cube that can put power upon each race... then a piece of the cube that unleash a pack of autobots in Egypt. These giants are the Autobots and the Deceptacons who are good and bad respectively. These are based on toys from Hasbro and the cartoons coinciding from the 80s.

Now I remember watching Transformers (I) twice and it was a mix bag. There were moments that had me laughing including one scene of a computer geek living with his grandma and Shia being first chased by the Decepticons but it was witless humor. Transformers had a great war in the end, a lot of robot porn and there was a great deal of product placement all over the place.

Seeing Transformers: Revenge of The Fallen and having to come out of it feels like coming out from a concert that featured the loudest music you've ever heard but it doesn't have vocals. People enjoyed it, came out and decide to buy the DJ's music which only features dubstep and raspberries as a way of saying "Fuck you, you've bought my songs and you call that bad taste" and yet the people buying don't care at all. That make you believe that we've becoming a tasteless society seeing and hearing the most pointless things in pop culture today.

I've gave the comparison because I don't know what to think about ROTF. It's overlong, crude and stupid with its humor, has an incomprehensible and illogical plot and Shia Labeouf and Megan Fox tries way too hard from a really horrible screenplay. To put in one simple phrase: intelligence-insulting.

At least Michael Bay and Shia Labeouf acknowledges that the sequel was shit and Bay promises to make Dark Of The Moon better. Megan Fox would not be in the film which is a relief for me since she is a bad actress and, you will be disappointed when I say this, she ain't that hot. But I have to keep my doubts perfectly balanced because we're introduced to two trailers that shows something that can be called a plot. In the trailers we're shown of Autobots on the moon discovered by Neil Armstrong on the moon landing in 1969. Now they're destroying a city.

There's hope, but there is pessimism. If DOTM would be the best of the trilogy, it would be just an ordinary monster movie where the monster is replaced by robots and destroying the city and the guy Shia has to rescue this love interest of her played by Rosie Huntington Whiteley who is somewhat kidnapped according to the trailers. I've seen it before and it's called War of the Worlds, remade by Steven Spielberg who is producing the whole trilogy.

Now here's the another factor of pessimism. Rosie Huntington Whiteley is a Victoria Secret Angel and I'm not quite sure if modelling and acting goes together because they're more well known for their bodies. Huntington, as hot as hell as she is, would be so boring in DOTM because all I get is her looking up and Bay is standing there telling her "open your jaws so we can get those big lips for the big perverts like me".

And I also forgot. Bay is shooting this entirely in 3D. It was his decision, not the studio's. I'm not quite sure what is worst. Shooting the whole thing in 3D would be a better way to show off to James Cameron that I'm the best. But remember what happened to Clash of the Titans and The Last Airbender? When these films were converted into 3D after being shot in 2D, nobody had enjoyed it. Would Bay succeed by making this robot-bonanza a box-office booster by shooting it in 3D that we have to pay an extra $3 to cover the approximate $400 million budget? Or will we see the sad downfall of Hollywood and what they've changed into?

I'm going to see this film with friends so tune in when I say... hmm... no wonder.

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