Tuesday, June 7, 2011

RANT: MTV Movie Awards and Twilight

Thanks for giving us the popcorn. We're put it beneath our toilet seat since there's two more to go
Last night, the MTV Movie Awards was held last night at whatever arena it's in. (I don't know so don't call me an idiot.) And you wouldn't be suprised when you hear the word Twilight around this awards show or any other populist awards show in existence.

For those of you who don't know, the MTV Movie Awards are only well known for awarding movies that are popular; most of the movies nominated are not even Oscar-worthy but are still entertaining. Some movies that were nominated for an Oscar but have won and have been nominated for an MTVMA were Pulp Fiction, Titanic, Gladiator, A Few Good Men and The Lord Of The Rings trilogy. Those that were nominated or won an MTVMA and were critically acclaimed films were Se7en, Terminator 2: Judgement Day and The Matrix.

But now it's official; the MTV Movie Awards would be the things we find bullshit this year when Twilight clean sweeped the awards winning 5 "popcorns". The "popcorns" were Best Fight, Best Kiss, Best Male and Female Performance and, you guessed it, Best Movie.

You know what? Good for them. Good for Summit Entertainment, a major independent studio producing these movies for winning these honours. If I would give Twilight credit for anything it would be the production design that makes the forests and mountains so realistic Roger Ebert would describe it as:
"like landscapes painted by that guy on TV who shows you how to paint stuff like that."
But overall, the MTVMAs are a travesty in cinema today. Gone were the films that are actually great popcorn fare and gone are the ethics and excitement of awards shows today. If there was any awards shows that were redeeming and are not related to Twilight, there's the Saturn Awards whose panel at least care which films were the best of its genre. Or the Empire Awards even though these awards are so niche to a minority of film buffs.

This whole show is so bad. But I can't even say it's James Franco bad because he wouldn't do this job. Talking positive about Twilight winning everything is like saying the water in our dams are poison.

MTV has gone so low maintenance now as it doesn't live up to its name. What used to be a TV channel revolutionising music today is not anymore. Instead we get this, the VMAs which are the only thing close to saying MTV is showing music and Jersey Shore. (BTW, I read the Wikipedia page of Jersey Shore and at the front tells us "it's a cultural phenomenon"[insert facepalm]). And now what used to be a celebration of film fans in Hollywood turns into a cult meeting for tween bastards. Didn't I mention there was a change in the voting system with everybody eligible to vote? Oh! Freedom of speech you're implying to put in.

Anyway, I'm joining the crowd here who will complain about the show days to come, but the total travesty is the show itself. If you noticed anything different is that there's two new categories: Jaw-Dropping Moment and Best Line. Hmmm. MTV trying to get a jab on screenplay.

With nothing else the winner for Best Jaw Dropping Moment was Justin Bieber winning for his own movie. So... what was the Jaw-Dropping moment? I don't FUCKING know? MTV PRODUCED HIS PROPAGANDA MOVIE! Winning over potential nominees James Franco cutting his arm up for 127 Hours, the city folding in Inception is outrageous.

Now for Best Line and two quotes from Aaron Sorkin's screenplay for The Social Network (not even the strongest of them all) are nominated. I would've prefered this instead given how this is the best moment of personally the best film of 2010.



But the two quotes lost over this?



Really?

Really?

REALLY?

Goddamn it. This film is an atrocious piece of garbage that I cannot tolerate. Seriously, if people read Sorkin's screenplay they would have been impressed before seeing The Social Network even if they're aren't into it. But you know what? Looking at Grown Ups over The Social Network seeing as they're both distributed by Columbia Pictures, then comparing it wouldn't be that difficult. But the line that won over a pitch-perfect screenplay from a modern screenwriter makes Grown Ups less bearable.

Now to Twilight and the film won over the best film moments of the last years are so plain stupid, with Best Fight winning over the hallway fight from Inception or Chloe Moretz against the drug dealers in Kick Ass and Best Kiss over Natalie Portman and Mila Kunis for Black Swan. 2 to 3 awards in the same category. When it comes to winning Best Male and Female Performance at the MTVMAs it's based on what the population think was the best performances. And what do you know? It went to Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart so their fans would become horny. Over the Oscar-nominated-winning performances from Jesse Eisenberg and Natalie Portman. The whole franchise is Harry Potter with a chasity ring.

Just minutes after being shown to us the first trailer for the next Twilight installment Breaking Dawn (Pt. 1), we've seen it before as Eclipse wins Best Film. OVER THESE FILMS?!?!


 

Seriously, has the world lost their minds? Or has the majority of the people voting have heard of these films knowing they used to be nominated for the Best Picture Oscar. I've seen these films. I've just bought them on DVD because they are a work of art. These three films are the best movies of the year. The Social Network was a film not about Facebook, but a character study of a social revolutionary and friendships. Black Swan was like looking at the painting 'The Scream" in motion with a captivating performance from a cute actress. And Inception as Mark Kermode used to describe: "proof that people are not stupid, that cinema is not trash, and that it is possible for blockbusters and art to be the same thing." And these films never got anything other than Inception winning for Best Scared-As-Shit Performance for Ellen Page over a film the story about beastiality and necrophilia. With Twilight ticking every category, this shows that we've become a tasteless society.

But the tragedy is that the show has its worst moments. A shot of Justin Timberlake groping over Mila Kunis, when they've both star in a movie that so similar to Natalie Portman's rom com and both present at the Oscars, is just uncomfortable. Even more uncomfortable was the fact that Robert Pattinson made out with Taylor Lautner in the audience and the fact that Steven Spielberg came up to present clips for Super 8 and told that the MTVMAs are made for film fans.

Maybe he doesn't know himself, but we as film fans, the people who are being addressed here, people who are in the audience (half of those were from the entertainment industry, half of those were teeny boppers) should have more respect to such an icon. I'm pretty sure he's paid to say that.

I pretty much had it with MTV and their Movie Awards seeing that, unless they do something with their voting system or banning Twilight from their next awards shows, I'll never hear of the MTVMAs again. But to appease myself that the show was not terrible. At least there was recognition to Chloe Moretz winning Best Breakout Star and Best Badass Star for playing Hit-Girl in Kick-Ass. And to be honest, the Movie Awards were not to be taken seriously, however they play a role in deciding what the movie-going public likes. But now, as many of the movies are shown to us every day, they make the movie outside of artistic value beneath profit, Twilight is a franchise so blatant fueled by majority of people who have an ever decreasing span, that it is made to a point that is pointless and is stupid

Unfortunately the band Gossip used to say "It's a cruel, cruel world to face on your own", it's true.

Bravo Twihards. Bravo. And go fuck yourself
>:(

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