Thursday, September 30, 2010

Enough with the Armonds

There were two posts I made in The Catalyst. One was about how critics miss the point and become incredibly inconsistent and unfairly biased when they review movies. Another one was about the buzz about The Social Network. The movie on Facebook.

Now I told you on that post about my experiences on Facebook, how South Park called this device pointless and the predictions I made about the movie and how it's gonna effect us. The audience. Where it is certain that most of the audience are using Facebook. I said it was going to hurt some users who would be insulted about the aims of Facebook and why we are using it.

Now in this post, I'm gonna combine these posts together so I can protest on one critic I really hate. And you would hate him too. Every film critic would also hate him as well. I'm talking about this guy below:

Armond White.

Meet this guy. It's ironic that his name and his skin colour contrast together. I don't know any African American film critics, but I think people who has a great taste in movies and the internet know him as 'the troll' which means to mock someone out of annoyance.

Now I didn't mention him on the post about critics because I was focused on David and Margeret who are really well known critics in Australia and also I forgot about him but here's the facts.

  • Armond White used to be a music critic so why did he moved to movies when he hated that field he's given to analyse so much
  • He agrees with the movie website 'Rotten Tomatoes' 52% of the time and had slash out many films which are almost destined to get 100% like Toy Story 3
  • White's considered a contrarian who rejects in popular opinion.
  • White's best films he rated were most people including me think were awful including Transformers; Revenge of The Fallen, Jonah Hex, Grown Ups, and any movie critics think are awful
  • White's worst movies were movies we think are the best. He hates Toy Story 3, Inception, Star Trek, Iron Man, Up, Up in The Air, The Dark Knight, any movie we think is the best.
  • He was first labelled as a troll by Roger Ebert after disagreeing with his review on District 9, one of the best reviewed movies of 2009.
  • White claims to have watched 400 movies a year and his aim was to help the viewer get to understand film better.
  • He adores Steven Spielberg (well why can't we?) and hates Noah Baumbach just like David Stratton like Michael Winterbottom and hates Lars Von Trier. 

White's is what I think matches my blog post's rants about critics. He's biased towards and against one filmmaker, he's against movies about his race, put in allegories in his reviews and calls himself a film critic which is just a hobby going into a cinema and enjoy watching the movie. Critics are just people from an outlet going into the cinema.

But here's something. About three hours ago, I was on my Twitter and RT had announced that The Social Network which was getting really rave reviews and early Oscar chances had got its first negative review and unsurprisingly it is White himself.

In his review, White commented about the character of Zuckerberg as an 'obnoxious protagonist Noah Baumbach didn't write' before that White said that director David Fincher and writer Aaron Sorkin sould worship Zuckerberg and not accusing Zuckerberg of being a big jerk. He concluded in his review that The Social Network is a TV-trite.

Well I just checked into Rotten Tomatoes again and believe it or not he hates every movie he reviewed except for the movies I mentioned above. In his reviews, he use many words we don't usually use in real life. In other words, he's like Spock from Star Trek where he's an illustration of rationale and that's what he's like. In other words and I don't want to be mean and to be metaphorical, White is a Vulcan.

In his review of Easy A, he declared that movie the worst of 2010 when it is so good, receiving universal acclaim.

His review on The Wrestler commented on Mickey Rourke's performance labelling both it and the film crap.

He compared Inception to playing Grand Theft Auto which would have been worst if GTA had been turned into a movie. Inception and GTA has something in common. They're both about stealing something for a person involved. The huge difference is that Inception is not a video game and doesn't contain Leonardo Dicaprio shooting Ellen Page in the face. So this made me angry.

What's even annoying is that he gave Grown Ups, the thumbs up calling it heartfelt. As well as Transformers 2 is which he calls it art when it's just a bunch of metal fighting each other with no script at all. Anyone so stupid who never want to read reviews in New York would go pay their money and waste it for that film.

White is indeed an intolerant, nasty, hypocritical troll and he would love to make things back to the status quo when we're becoming a progressive society nurturing our opinions. The status quo making us going into his huge depth of dumb movies.

As for me, I have to be stuck with many people that are like Armond Whites at my school. People torment me for watching Inception, a really smart movie nobody in that school watched and anyone who watched it think it's the worst they've seen so far. While the majority of the school has seen Grown Ups and called "the funniest movie of the year". These people are some of the most intolerant hypocrites I have ever met.

But as the moral goes, everybody has an opinion. And whetyer you like it or not, every film isn't perfect. 99% for Toy Story 3 isn't that exactly the percentage we want, but it's ok. We enjoyed it. HE doesn't. We can't do anything about it.

If White want to make America a country with no taste of culture, wished Justin Bieber would forever lived on this planet when we seriously want him to die, eat the same plain food we should eat, then we don't care. White maybe felt bored in every movie he sees.

In that case, Armond White could be the most annoying person tied with Justin Bieber.

And here's a song I would like to compare to that douche.

In a generation where most of the world is globalised with annoying people from Disney, Justin Bieber's a god, and damn it, Megan Fox's the sexiest thing on the planet, the minority of this generation would make Armond Wite, the critic for the New York Press, a butt of all jokes in arts and culture

A pitchfork rating of no stars. >:)

1 comment:

  1. Good blog. I, too, don't understand the deal with Armond White. Most of your discussion is spot on except he does like some films dealing with his race. As you stated, he loves Steven Spielberg and he is a big fan of THE COLOR PURPLE, a film with a predominantly black cast. We all knew he would have the first negative review for THE SOCIAL NETWORK. Oh well, I don't think his opinion carries much weight anyway. I also wrote a piece on Armond White about two months ago. If you are interested here is a link to it.